Funtastic Friend Friday: Sydney Jones

The first semester of my sophomore year of college was a rough one to say the least. I was doing my best to figure out really following Jesus and then also attempting to move through my world that was seemingly falling apart. Somewhere in that semester, my friendship with Sydney took off. Her passion for the Lord was evident and I was forever changed. I wanted to know Jesus more because of her. Second semester of that year was one of the most growing periods of my life and Sydney walked alongside me all the while and our friendship grew into something that only the Lord could do. Now, Sydney lives in the room across the hall from me in the McMansion. We get crazy on the third floor together, read etiquette books together, play dress up together, laugh together, cry together, road trip together, study the Bible together, and live life together. Yes, she is kind of a big deal. 

 

I am excited to share Sydney's post because I know that it's coming from a place of vulnerability. She writes honestly about some of her insecurities and the decision to set her eyes on Christ and watch those insecurities flee. My prayer is that we can be challenged to set our minds on things above and let the Lord reclaim what is His in our lives, leaving all insecurities at the Cross. 

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Insecurity (n.) - Lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt.

Yikes. That word is the absolute worst. It hasn’t been a super prevalent word in my vocabulary but when it is used, I want to run. Run far.

I had not really dealt with insecurities until my last relationship. I was a strong, independent 21 year old who didn’t care what others thought, and who was comfortable in her own skin. But then it all changed. I started dating a boy and my strong, confident self became an insecure and worried girl friend.

I began to compare myself to other young Christian women in romantic relationships. I compared who I was then to who I used to be. I began to place security in a relationship that was designed to be for God. I quickly learned that my conditional trust, my conditional security, was not security at all.

Throughout the relationship it felt as if Satan and I were in one of those “play places” and he was hurling those grimy plastic play balls at my face.

“You can’t do this. You are not worth this. You’re not like her. You’re not good enough. You’re not as great as you thought. You should just give up. This isn’t going to work.”

I’ve discovered that the issue with insecurity is that it causes our eyes and focus to be upon us.

In order to compare ourselves to others we are forced to focus on ourselves. When our eyes are on us, nothing is going to turn out well.

It is when our focus is on Jesus that insecurity flees.

When we focus on Him, no longer do we doubt our worth, but we are reminded that the security He offers us can never be shaken.

I have learned over the last 6 months that a deep sense of doubt about your worth and place in the world is never God’s will. It was not until after the relationship ended that I was able to say “goodbye” to these insecurities and “hello” to the confidence the Lord wants me to always enjoy.

To overcome these insecurities, I had to stop looking for security in the wrong places. I realized that my insecurities blinded me from seeing everything the Lord has blessed me with and not withheld from me. I had to claim the strength and dignity that is mine through a relationship with the Lord. I had to believe God is who He says He is and that I am who God says I am.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”- Isaiah 43:1b

Lord, Remind us that we are Yours. I pray that we would seek You amidst our insecurities. Thank You that Satan has no foothold in our lives because You came and You overcame. Thank You for being a God who is who He says He is and does what He says He will do. Amen.