It is often the time that people make their New Year resolutions and make their vows to do all sorts of things... get healthy, start a new hobby, be more organized, etc. And there is something exciting about that time... visions are cast that portray new lives that are more engaged, passionate, healthy, bold, and wonderful.
That is beautiful and rejuvenating, but this year, that is not me.
Yes, I do have things that I would like to accomplish this year. Yes, I have some goals that I have in mind. Yes, I do want to be healthier. The truth is, there is always a list of things that I would like to be... there is always something that I want to improve on.
Truth be told, I made a list of 50 goals, hopes, and dreams for 2013. I'm pretty content with them too. Some of them are exciting, some are challenging, and some are just silly.
But just recently I glanced down at the list and a realized: I cannot live by a check list.
Since I can remember I have lived by a list... a list of things to do, a list of things I need to do better on, a list of things I want to accomplish, a list for everything.
All of those lists have left me feeling pretty defeated because the list never ends and I somehow am never good enough. The desire for perfectionism that is deeply rooted in my heart controls the lists and it never fairs wells.
So for 2013, I will not be living by the list and all the things I need to work on. I am going to focus more on dwelling in the love of the Lord and letting that revolutionize my life, rather than all of my lists.
At the end of 2013 I want to be able to say that I know Jesus more than I do today. So if I am going to have a "resolution" for 2013 it is going to be: know Jesus more. I want to experience life with Him even more and I want to continue seeking His will for my life. I want to know more of His love for me and His love for the world.
"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross." (Colossians 1:15-20)
There is something intimately magical and mysterious about who Jesus is and I want this year to be about knowing Him even more. "Knowing Jesus more" does not necessarily fall into a SMART (Specific.Measurable.Attainable.Realistic.Timely) goal, but that's okay with me. Knowing Jesus more will be the thing that forever alters my life, not all of my lists of things to work on.
I am saying goodbye to the list of improvements that need to be made. I am saying goodbye to the unreachable goals of perfection... but I am saying hello to knowing Jesus more.
I am truly excited for this upcoming year. It is going to be one of enormous change and huge milestones. It is the year of graduating from college and the year of beginning to pursue something that I love. It's going to be wild and it's going to be challenging, but most importantly, it's going to be full of Jesus.
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