For When Loving is Hard

God is Love.

Love is patient...

... even in my most ugliest of moments ... as I try to do things by myself ... as He calls my name to draw me to Himself ... even when I do not acknowledge Him 

Love is kind...

... speaking sweetly in those tender soul needing moments ... as He looks at me and sees the righteousness of Christ ... reminding me of my worthiness that is in the Lord

Love does not envy...

... even as His heart desires our attention ... even while experiencing a godly jealousy 

Love does not boast...

... when looking at those He loves ... as He reminds the woman at the well that He has written her a better story ... as He carries all our shame on the cross

Love is not self-seeking...

... as a sinless man He died a sinner's death for our salvation ... 

Love is not easily angered...

... despite all of my mistakes and mishaps ... as He loves us with a deep, unfailing, and compassionate love ... even when I do not do what He has called me to

Love keeps no record of wrongs...

... for He remembers my sins no more ... as He washes us white as snow 

Love does not delight in evil...

... as He cries out over the brokenness in this world ... as He is grieved by evil

Love rejoices with the truth...

... for the truth sets us free and it is for freedom that Christ has set us free ... as the Lord delights over with singing ... as dinner parties are thrown when the prodigal son returns home

Love always protects...

... as He gives us ways to stand up under the temptations of the enemy ... keeping me safe even when I don't feel safe ... 

Love always trusts...

... extending us a truth to believe in ... dying on the cross for people He loves even before they were knit in their mother's womb 

Love always hopes...

... believing better stories for us ...

Love always perseveres... 

... through our dirtiness and mess ... as my heart wanders all around

Love never fails...

JESUS NEVER FAILS.

And we too are called to love with this kind of love... with Jesus love... as Christ has loved us. 

I am called to be...

... patient ... 
... even when it hurts ... despite the annoying comments and sassy remarks ... amidst the miscommunication and the differences ... with those who do not deserve my patience ... in receiving grace and giving grace ... as doors slam

... kind ...
... using words that are uplifting and beneficial to the soul ... giving away more of myself than I receive ... not turning a friend in need away ... even when I have had my feelings hurt and all I want to do is scream ... in caring when I do not feel like caring ... in surprise coffees and chocolate croissants

... not envious ...
... of those who still get to live in chapel hill and see all our besties on a regular occasion ... of those in a different life stage ... of those who don't have to shovel snow still in april ...  when all I want is for things to be different

... not boastful ...
... in my accomplishments ... in my relationships ... reminding others that I can do nothing without Christ- absolutely nothing

... not self-seeking ...
... even when I want things to work out for me ... when I drive the extra distance to see a friend ... despite the desire for gratification from relationships ... even when my "plan" seems the most logical

... not easily angered ... 
... even when I am frustrated ... even when things change and do not happen like I thought they would ... even when I am hurt by someone's actions ... even when promises are broken ... even when everything in me says I should scream and storm out

... keeping no record of wrongs ... 

... believing that Christ has died for that person's sins ... even when arguments seem stronger with lists of previous offenses ... trusting that Jesus is my safety, not my own guard and memory ... even when it does not seem fair

... not delighting in evil ... 
... trusting that all blessings and goodness flows from the Heavenly Father above ... even towards those people I would rather not love

... rejoicing with the truth ...
... speaking the Lord's truth with grace in every moment ... in dinner parties that speak to community and life over the table ... even when the truth is scary and means there is vulnerability

... always protecting ... 
... honoring others with the words that I use ... praying for those in need and in trouble ... asking the Lord's provision over others lives ... in moments of confusion and anxiety

... always trusting ... 
... even when my gut says I would rather not ... that Jesus is working in the other person's life ... that beauty comes from ashes ... believing more is possible even when there is room to doubt

... always hoping ...
... believing a better story for another ... believing that the Lord has not let go of them ... believing that they will turn around even when hope feels lost ... believing that Jesus has more love than I could ever possibly have ... even when hoping hurts and the situation feels hopeless

... always persevering ...
... even when I want to give up ... even when loving means crying tears ... even when loving doesn't feel good anymore ... even when the other person has their back turned

I cannot do or be anything of these things perfectly. Some days I cannot even attempt to do some of these things half-way well. And then some other days I am full out terrible at loving like Jesus. 

With Jesus there is grace though. He looks down at my battered heart wanting to love well, but struggling, and says His grace is sufficient. While I may be weak, He is incredibly strong inside of me. He gives me the ability to love when loving just does not seem possible. He gives me the ability to love when I do not want to love. He gives me the ability to love when the other person does not want to be loved. He gives me the ability to love when all hope feels lost.

Love like this has power to move mountains and turn tables, because the Lord's love never ever fails. 

Jesus, may love fill our hearts even on our very worst of days.